I Need To Know...

We tend to misunderstand our friends at times. I admit I do. And probably my friends do too towards me. The closer we get, we tend to have expectations from our friends and when something out of the expected happened, uneasy feeling or probably bad blood will occurred. Of late, I seemed to stumble upon unhappy scenarios one after another and this just tires me.

Sometimes I wonder if it is my fault that it happened. Or probably sensitivity got better of us. But whatever it is, I don't want to always get pissed off and after that wondering if things will resume where it was left out. I'm a type of person that I rather face the truth than finding out the "hard way". If there are some things that you don't approve of me doing, please tell it to me. I will deal with it. However, if someone pulls a sneaky act just because didn't like what I did, it will just hurt my feelings. But now I'm thinking, could I got it all wrong?

I have always believe in honesty but sometimes I just can't understand why my close friends can't face me with that. Why is it that when comes to a stumbling block, a blockage will exist? And me being me, I can't stand "silent treatment" for few days.

Right now, I think I'm beyond the pissed off feelings already. I don't feel quite mad now. If only things could be cleared out now, I really will appreciate it. Unfortunately, I can't seem to do anything about it. Should I wait for miracle to happen again?

I just hope for this to get over and done with and for me to not step on any mine lands again. I'm really tired of thinking of how to solve the matters and also being mad. I really need to know that everything is fine right now. That whatever had happened is just the past. Unfortunately I wasn't granted that. I'm stuck wondering again and again. Seriously, can just stop torturing me with this kind of act?

I'm an adult. I can face the real deal. Just shove it to me and let me had it. Once everything is aired out, I'm sure things will just get on better after that. As simple as that and yet.... nothing is happening. I just got to wait when the 911 calling is called upon me. Sighs!